Smutty Social Media, February 15, 2017
As Lainey pointed out yesterday, Tom Hiddleston is kind of sad. On Twitter, “Tom Hiddleston Bolognese” has become a thing, thanks to the writer of the story (Taffy Brodesser-Akner) posting the recipe. And he hasn’t been retweeting or liking any of the photos people are putting up. Even though we know he’s very enthusiastic about his Bolognese.
What base do you think Mariah’s “boyfriend” Bryan gets to? For the extra special holiday, maybe he begged and pleaded (and complimented) enough to earn a boob. Just one. While Fantasy played on loop.
I wrote some goop erotica based on Gwyneth and Brad’s Valentine’s Day night: oysters and caviar for dinner (real original). Afterwards they split a square of dark chocolate and she put on a $1500 La Perla lingerie set. They had 8 minutes of sex in the missionary position on Frette sheets. Maybe they watched an episode of The Crown afterwards.
Would you expect anything but head-to-toe pink on Jessica Simpson for Valentine’s Day? She’s not exactly subtle.
Did Drake send JLo flowers? Not sure, but I would bet serious money that Marc Anthony did.
At a time when many people feel their country is facing a crisis, Stephen Colbert’s ratings go up and Jimmy Fallon’s go down.
"Who ordered the shrimp, and who launched the ballistic missile?" pic.twitter.com/i0OymVsoYC— Stephen Colbert (@StephenAtHome) February 14, 2017
Camila Cabello has a new Seventeen cover and of course she talks about leaving Fifth Harmony. Her former bandmate Lauren sub-tweeted about it. And then denied tweeting about it. Why can’t these young women just own their pettiness?
Fake that confidence bih, one day it'll be real🙏🏼— Lauren Jauregui (@LaurenJauregui) February 14, 2017
Media assuming shit and falsely reporting hatred is so boring. REPORT the positive shit..there's too much negativity in this world rn— Lauren Jauregui (@LaurenJauregui) February 15, 2017
Who is he referring to? Lots of guesses point to Britney. I kind of hope it’s Katy so we get some good gossip out of it.
I worked with the greatest artists of our generation !!! I'm in the mixing stage now. I listen back and can't believe what we created !!!!!— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) February 15, 2017