Calvin Harris or Tom Hiddleston: who made Taylor hunch? 

Lainey Posted by Lainey at December 15, 2017 17:47:12 December 15, 2017 17:47:12

See? As much as she claims to not want to be “part of the narrative”, Taylor Swift is just so great for gossip. 

Todrick Hall, a good friend of Taylor’s, was interviewed on the Kidd Kraddick Morning Show yesterday – video is below – and he talked about hanging out with her and how happy she is now:

“I think she’s the happiest I’ve ever seen her. I love it. There was a time last year -- I don’t know if I’m supposed to say anything, but she was dating someone who…I never actually met this person, but I could just tell every time I would talk to her, she would hunch over. And I sent her this picture of her as Quasimodo that I edited because I was, like, you cannot turn into Quasimodo for this guy. Every time you say his name, you hunch over. And now, she’s so happy, standing up completely straight and so tall and so confident. I just love it. I’m, like, so so happy for her and I cannot wait to see this tour.” 

OK so… who made Taylor hunch over last year? There are only two options, right? Calvin Harris or Tom Hiddleston? 

Given the lyrics to some of the songs on reputation, it sounds more like Calvin because Tom, as we know now, thanks to Getaway Car, was her jump-off to get away from Calvin: 

I wanted to leave him
I needed a reason 

And then later:

It was the great escape, the prison break
The light of freedom on my face
But you weren’t thinkin’
And I was just drinkin'
While he was runnin’ after us, I was screamin', "go, go, go!"
But with three of us, honey, it's a side show
And a circus ain't a love story
And now we’re both sorry (we're both sorry)

Taylor and Tom were together right after she and Calvin broke up. Tom was her Getaway Car. She left it on the side of the road. As for why she needed a Getaway Car, in her song I Did Something Bad, she sings about a guy who talks sh-t: 

If a man talks shit, then I owe him nothing
I don't regret it one bit, 'cause he had it coming

Also:

I can feel the flames on my skin
He says, "Don't throw away a good thing"
But if he drops my name, then I owe him nothin'
And if he spends my change, then he had it comin'

Calvin was talking a lot of sh-t and leveraging a lot of Taylor following their split. 

And yet… the biggest clue from Todrick about who made Taylor hunch over is that Todrick never met him. As ELLE points out, Taylor took Todrick to one of Calvin Harris’s shows when they were still together. Presumably he would have had opportunity to meet Calvin then whereas Taylor and Tom were dating for such a short period of time, Todrick may not have been able to get the chance. 

So now it becomes question of the specific kind of hunching Taylor was doing while she was with the person who made her hunch. We hunch when we feel dejected, when something or someone is bringing us down. We also hunch when we feel guilty, when we might be the person bringing something or someone down. And we hunch too when we’re bored. When something or someone isn’t bringing us up. 

Guilty and bored could totally apply to Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston. She used him as a jumpoff after Calvin Harris. And then she realised he was…too extra and thirsty …and being with him was bumming her out. 

Does that sound about right? 

 

Photos:
WENN, Sharky/ Polite Paparazzi/ MEP/ @JDH Imagez/ AKM-GSI /Splash News

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